poetry

The Recipe for the Perfect Poem

The Recipe for the Perfect Poem

rests on the bookshelf in the blue room
decorated with birds and brooches waiting
to be admired, waiting to find
warm fingers and a grin, waiting to see
the old why-haven’t-I-noticed-this-before look,
the I-feel-like-I’m-musing-through-a-museum
eyes glassing over, before it snickers
at you.  You can’t remove items
from the museum.  You can
simply warm the bench.

This is the firt draft, revised a couple of times in my mind. 😉  Feedback/suggestions always welcome.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “The Recipe for the Perfect Poem

  1. Very cool how you hyphenate the observation of noticing and the spectator feeling of being in a great museum. I think equating the reception of "the perfect poem" on one who is appreciative would definitely produce a similar effect.

  2. The details you include are wonderful…blue room. Also, like "You can't remove items from the museum" and snickers is a good word choice. The ending is a little flat for me. I'd continue to work on this one.

  3. i like a lot the sort of tongue-in-cheek humor here; that last line a warning to all poets! 🙂 like some of the others here, i'm also a fan of the hyphenations, and i do think the rhythm changes from beginning to end (which may or may not have been your intention). impressive for a first draft.

  4. Ahh!!! Simply warm the bench.. so beautiful write.. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing…ॐ नमः शिवायOm Namah Shivayahttp://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-another-kind-of-valentines-day.html

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s